Unhistoric Acts

happy birthday maddie!!

Our sweet Maddie turned 14 yesterday. We served up the requested bacon, mushroom, and cheese omelet (in bed) at 5:45 AM!!

After she left for school Sterling and I started tearing around working on her room. We did a mini room redo for her present.

For as long as we've lived in this house she has wanted a cushion for her window seat (which is more like a window bench). Except...procuring the cushion means finding the right fabric and also finding someone to make the darn thing. Could I have made it myself? Possibly. But this semester, time does not permit for days spent cursing my sewing machine. Also, I found this cool fabric online while browsing this blog. The fabric is designed by Jessica Jones (who writes the blog) and I knew it would be perfect for Maddie's color scheme.

On a trip to Ikea last week we picked up the floating shelves, and curtains, and lamp. Mostly I was trying to make the room a bit more grown up. I eventually want to ditch the Pottery Barn Kids quilt on her bed, but try as I might I just couldn't find what I was looking for this go around. I'll keep my eyes peeled.

See the pillow on the bed? The one out of the same fabric as the window seat? I did make that myself. While Sterling was hanging shelves I was hemming the curtains and making this pillow. I was actually sweating by the time I set out for College Station at 10. But I finished the pillow. I have one more to make, out of a different Jessica Jones fabric, but that might have to wait until I'm on summer break.

Pay no attention to the woman in the mirror. She hasn't brushed her hair this morning, and she makes some WEIRD faces when there is a camera attached to her face. Yuck. I got the mirror at Target. When it originally made its way to the store it was $70 and I was all like WHO IS GOING TO PAY $70? But later, when it was marked down to $19.98 I snapped it up. I felt my friend Jane (Target diva) would be so proud of me. I knew at the time that the mirror was too small for above Maddie's dresser, so I paired it up with a giant golden M. Because who doesn't need a giant gold M in their life?

As for the party. Madison invited seven friends over to spend the night. Becca had a friend over...so with Big Momma and Big Daddy thrown in the mix, about 16 of us filed into EJs (our neighborhood pizzeria) for dinner. We love EJ's Choice. For the cake...I consulted my bff (the Internet) and came up with this.

Yeah!! Rainbow cake. Who wouldn't like a rainbow cake? I stole/borrowed the idea from here. I made the cake the regular way (she gives a fat free version) because I figure you are only 14 once. And if you can still wear size 0 jeans...you can just help yourself to the full fat.

How did we make this, you ask? Well, we mixed up two white cake mixes and divided it into six parts. Then we colored like crazy.

I was cursing myself the entire time I was mixing these colors because the bowls I used were TOO SMALL. What was I thinking? Anway, that was the only difficulty. Otherwise, the rainbow cake is easy as pie. Except it's cake. It bakes up big and fluffy. My mom added the m&m's around the bottom. I was too tired by that point to get my decorator on.

Let's see Maddie right as she is about to blow out the candles:

And the beautiful rainbow cake...

Really, how cool is that? Try it. You'll like it.

So, now, all our sleepover guests have gone home and we are left with approximately 1.5 pieces of cake, a few stray m&m's, and some blankets to fold and put away. And I must, of course, reflect back on Maddie's last year. I swear she's grown 4 inches. She's as tall as me and skinny as a rail. Her teeth are straighter, but her hair is just as curly. She's an awesome babysitter...all of the kids love her. In fact, she is still the sweet, sensitive girl that she was when she was three and four and five-years-old. She and her friends sat at their own table at the restaurant last night, while the family sat a few tables over. But pulled up right next to her, at the corner of the table, was Parker. And she helped him right along. When the girls were writing on pillowcases last night Parker was milling about as well asking the girls to sign his pillowcase. And she was as kind and thoughtful of him as if he were her own child. She has always wanted everyone to feel included.

I can remember writing this before... But when I asked Maddie what she wanted for her birthday breakfast, she said, "Whatever is easiest." And when we were careening through Walmart yesterday afternoon throwing bags of candy and bottles of soda into the cart she said, "I feel bad that this is all just for me." She's a humble gal. And grateful. And I totally love that about her.

But don't let the curls and dimples fool you. She's a fierce competitor and is brainy as all get-out. She's still aiming for the Ivy League, and I have no doubt she'll get there (that is if she can survive my BYU mind games). She is sharp and quick and willing to do the work. She is nimble on the piano and can sing like an angel. And you know what? As I type this I realize...she's so many of the things that I've always wanted to be (including the size 0 jeans).

So Happy Birthday angel baby! We can't wait to see what you come up with next!

pretend

Pretend that posted right here is an adorable picture of Parker's seven (almost eight) year-old feet. They're still small enough to be cute, but were actually quite smelly when I examined them this afternoon. I examined them because this is our month of visiting and interacting with medical professionals. Good for us!

Remember this list?
Monday & Tuesday: Madison home from school
Wednesday: School calls. Rebecca has an inflamed eye. Pick her up NOW.
Thursday: Take Becca to the eye doctor. Receipt claims "foreign body removal." Nice.
Friday: One GLORIOUS day in which everyone appears healthy.
Saturday: Jordan wakes up with a 102 fever.
Sunday: Motrin isn't even bringing down J's fever. I take her to the Hermann clinic by HEB. It's not strep. It's a virus. Sent home to suffer. Me and her.
Monday: Jump out of bed at 6 AM to get kids ready. Eventually drag Jordan through the bath, run to Walgreens for popsicles since she hasn't eaten anything in two days. Prop her up on the couch (the maid's there) and run to teach my class.
Tuesday: Jordan still home. I've had a kid home every Tuesday (my day off) for the last three weeks. Yippee. Jordan and I ran through Hobby Lobby and Chick-Fil-A. We shared a peppermint chocolate chip shake, but I put hers in a separate cup. Let's hope everyone keeps their germs to themselves.

Remember? Well let's start where we left off last, shall we?

Tuesday (yes, the same day as listed above...we have long days around here): In the evening, following Jordan's day of Chick-Fil-A, Parker was out front playing with his buds from the street. Street buds, that is. Parker is quite squirrely about wearing shoes, and I like to fancy myself one of those moms who  let natural consequences do some of the parenting. Like if it's cold...he'll come in and get a jacket if he really needs one. And shoes? Sure, I'd prefer he'd wear shoes, but if he stubs his toes enough or steps on enough heroin needles (okay, calm down, only joking there) he'll probably run inside and put on some shoes.

But who would have guessed that he would jump off the back of Sterling's truck and land smack on his bare heels? And that he would limp around for two days...until his mother (that's me) would become consumed with the thought that she was letting her child walk around on two broken feet. I'm all for natural consequences, but I draw the line at walking around on broken feet. That just seems ridiculous.

So, as opposed to last Thursday morning, which I spent at the eye doctor...this Thursday, I went straight for the x-ray machine. And no, his heels were not broken. And yes, he is still limping. He has been excused from PE for the next week, which he informs me is quite fortuitous...seeing as how they are currently in the middle of a square dancing unit. Ummm....square dancing? He'll be milking those severely bruised heels for all their worth.

As for my natural consequence theory? I'm done with that. That's really just an excuse not to tackle the child down in the middle of the cul-de-sac, screaming like the fish wife that he'd better GET SOME SHOES ON. In fact, I believe I can feel my inner fish wife preparing for battle. Bring it on...

sick of sick

I took this picture a week and a half ago. Parker and Madison were staying home from church and nursing colds and fever. Up until this weekend, I had counted myself lucky...lucky that we had (so far) missed out on the dreaded flu bug of '09, even though I had continuing reports of record-setting numbers of kids missing from school. Rebecca reported one day that 10 kids were absent from her class alone...that's half the class!!

I was especially grateful for my kids good health because it is so difficult to take care of sick kids while trying to teach/attend my classes. I'm sure any working mother would agree that figuring out how to put off your work responsibilities in order to stay home with sick kids is a stressful predicament. In my case I have to either try to find a sub or just cancel my class altogether. Having been on both sides of the fence, I'll just add that being stuck in the house, day-in and day-out with sick kids, is no walk in the park either.

So two weekends ago...the weekend of Valentines Day: Jordan starts in with a nasty cold. She's not too bad off, but she is wheezing and her inhaler is empty. If you remember I had to make a Saturday run to the pediatrician's for a new inhaler prescription.

When I arrived home from Jordan's doctor's appointment, both Madison and Parker were green around the gills and complaining...about everything. Parker never did run a fever, but I medicated his cough for the next 3-4 days. [On a side note: Is there anything better than opening the medicine cabinet to find prescription cough medicine, in Parker's name, that has NOT expired? Really, it's a bit what I imagine winning the lottery would be like.] And since that weekend...things just haven't been right. For instance:

Monday & Tuesday: Madison home from school
Wednesday: School calls. Rebecca has an inflamed eye. Pick her up NOW.
Thursday: Take Becca to the eye doctor. Receipt claims "foreign body removal." Nice.
Friday: One GLORIOUS day in which everyone appears healthy.
Saturday: Jordan wakes up with a 102 fever.
Sunday: Motrin isn't even bringing down J's fever. I take her to the Hermann clinic by HEB. It's not strep. It's a virus. Sent home to suffer. Me and her.
Monday: Jump out of bed at 6 AM to get kids ready. Eventually drag Jordan through the bath, run to Walgreens for popsicles since she hasn't eaten anything in two days. Prop her up on the couch (the maid's there) and run to teach my class.
Tuesday: Jordan still home. I've had a kid home every Tuesday (my day off) for the last three weeks. Yippee. Jordan and I ran through Hobby Lobby and Chick-Fil-A. We shared a peppermint chocolate chip shake, but I put hers in a separate cup. Let's hope everyone keeps their germs to themselves.

As for me...I'm just glad that I don't have sick toddlers. Not having toddlers makes that feat possible. But still, I'm trying to look on the bright side. And no sick toddlers is all I can muster at the moment.

wash woman

When I was in the first grade my family and I lived in a white brick house in Katy, TX. That house was the start of my sojourn in the suburbs, I suppose, and as loathe as I was to leave it in the late 70s, I can now finally understand my parent's ardent desire to run far, far away.

But back to me.

I loved that brick house. After we left the brick house we would spend the next eight or so years on two different homes in the country, and I would refer back to the brick house as the 'Houston Brick House.' I wanted a Houston-Brick-House so that I could rollerskate in the streets and walk to friends' houses. What I had instead were acres and acres of land...and lots of pesky little brothers, and not a concrete surface in sight. Every try rollerskating on a dirt road? I have. And I'm here to tell you...you won't get very far.

I can still remember the drive we took out to the country to see our new house. What I remember the most vividly is that there was a clothesline behind the house, WITH CLOTHES HANGING ON IT. It (the clothesline) looked like something straight out of the Beverly Hillbillies, and I wanted nothing to do with it. Seems even at the tender age of 7, I knew that clothesline meant Hickville...and that just wasn't me. I was cosmo...right? Anyway, I cried. And if I remember correctly my mother (or father, can't remember which) told me that if the worst thing that happened to me in my life was to live in the vicinity of a clothesline...I would have an okay life.

Wow. Sage words grasshopper.

Anyway, we did move to the house with the clothesline. And in all fairness to my parents, I also remember a new black kitty waiting for me (whom I named Toto after the Wizard of Oz). And my mother hung our very own clothes on the clothesline. But somehow by that point, I had made my peace with Hickville. And eventually I would learn to make my peace with stiffer-than-normal clothing.

All of this is what I was thinking of when I hung Parker's dino quilt outside to dry today. The maid brought it to the laundry room almost two weeks ago. I suppose she figured it was time for a washing, but the weather has been off and on rainy and overcast, at least on those days when I was laundering. When we first moved into this house I was washing quilts and comforters and I told Sterling that I needed him to rig a line outside, because I don't really like to dry them...it makes them old before their time. He procrastinated and procrastinated the rigging of the line. So, one day, I took hold of myself, realized that I was a grown, college-educated woman and figured if I couldn't rig up a clothesline (after living in Hickville for over eight years) then I deserved dryer-worn linens. My solution? I strung three bungy cords across the corner of the back fence. It works great, and when I'm done I just pluck them off (thereby hiding my clothesline).

Also, the whole process seems strangely comforting to the dog. Go figure.

things NOT to do...

If you want to encourage and maintain a peaceful, ordered, non-sick home...here are some quick tips of things NOT to do:

1. When your child comes home from school with a red and swollen eye, and you get an appointment at the eye doctor for 4:15, don't cancel the appointment at 4 because her eye looks JUST FINE. Because by 8 that night...it will be red and swollen again. Dang. ETA: Took Becca to the eye doctor. She did, in fact, have something in her eye. She told me yesterday before school that she had something in her eye, and I rolled my eyes and told her that her eye would "work it out" (literally). Well, apparently it didn't, and the eye doctor removed a rather large white glob (hard) from the inside of her upper eyelid. It was all quite fascinating (for those of us obsessed with the medical world - hence my love for ER, grey's anatomy, house, etc). So, $45 later...Becca's red and irritated eyeball is on the mend. Does any other child have some random ailment that can take up half a day? Come on! Bring it on! I can take it!?!

2. When waking up your seven-year-old from school, don't tell the child he will need to take a shower (because he didn't take one the night before). Just let him go to school stinky. Otherwise, the shower might get him into a very BAD mood, and then he might cry and say things like "WHOEVER INVENTED SCHOOL IS STUPID!!!).

3. Don't play on the Internet when you should be reading critical articles on The Scarlet Letter. (Umm...I'm kinda playing on the Internet right now...but this doesn't count).

4. Don't trust the 'popcorn' button on your microwave when popping individual/little bags of popcorn.

5. Don't make appointments for all four of children to get their teeth cleaned on the SAME day they have piano.

That's all. I have to wait until 9 to see if the eye doctor can fit us in AGAIN. Geez.

for the love of Pete's sake!!!!

Sunday...amongst bouts of not feeling well...Parker and Madison were outside blowing bubbles. Random, right? Parker started blowing bubbles, then I wanted a turn, and then Maddie. When you have toddlers you are sick to death of bubbles, but I suppose I'm over that now. Cuz I don't have any toddlers, and I'm still pretty giddy over that. Plus, the sun was shining in our little backyard. It was actually hot out there. I had to dial the aperture up to about 7 because so much light was streaming in.

That felt good. But we are back to overcast and 50 degrees today. Bummer. At least it's not snow and lower 20's. I guess.

The temperatures here vary so widely, that sometimes its difficult to tell when you wake up in the morning...just what in the heck you should wear. So, I have a widget on my computer screen that tells me the temp outside as well as the highs and lows for the day. When Parker wakes up in the morning, before he gets dressed, he mutters (sleepily), "I'm going to see how much degrees it is." And then he wanders down to the study and clicks on the mouse to bring up the widget. Besides the unbearable cuteness of him wondering "how much degrees," this process has quashed the arguments over long sleeved versus short sleeved and jeans versus shorts. Seems he believes the widget much more readily than his very own mother (WHO BIRTHED HIM).

One more Parker-ism: Last night a few of us were in the family room. I was reading (trying to read) and Parker and Maddie were playing Monopoly on my iphone and her itouch (very fun game if you haven't tried it). At one point in the game Parker, in expressing his frustration, blurted out "FOR THE LOVE OF PETE'S SAKE!!!" Unknowingly, he combined "for the love of Pete" and "for Pete's sake"...and that is going to be my new go-to phrase. It seems to bring together all that is frustrating and random about my world. That Pete...he's such a handy guy.

more on valentine's day...

After I clicked 'save' on my last post, I got up walked into the kitchen, and thought to myself:

THAT WAS POSSIBLY THE LAMEST POST YOU HAVE EVER WRITTEN. I'm mean, really, essentially what I wrote was "We had Valentines and people got sick." What does that really say? What does that even mean? It's so mundane, so overly simplified, so...a little bit true.

But no, other things happened. That was not the extent of our valentines day. For instance, Parker's valentine bag (made for/at school) is worth a look or two:

He obviously put some time and thought into appropriate sentiments for Valentines Day. His little brain came up with things like, "I'm going bannas for you." [which is really bananas (obviously) and we'll need to have a little talk about apostrophes (again).] And in smaller script he wrote "your my sweet little monkey" and "a skeleton of love" (my personal favorite). On the back he wrote one line: "See you later love monkey!" It all leaves me wondering...is there a specific love monkey? or is the love monkey entirely hypothetical?

Parker received this wallet for heart day. He's been asking for an A&M wallet for some time, but I had no idea the response such a gift would elicit. He and this wallet...are now ONE. After putting his MONEY in the wallet, and then his Itz game card (where the pictures go), he and the wallet are inseparable. He loves the wallet. He wants to take it everywhere. This also means we have already had several episodes where he has set the wallet down (in an obscure location) and then can't FIND it the moment he remembers he NEEDS it. It's been tons of fun. For Valentines Day I encouraged my son...to worship money. Aaaaawwwww. Isn't that cute???

When Sterling and the girls get home...I'll try to get pics of Sterling's gift and the girls' homemade valentines...so edition three will be along shortly. Later.

valentines day...

Our traditional Valentines Day breakfast went off without a hitch. Thank goodness it was on a Saturday and we didn't have to make waffles at 5 AM like last year. We did, however, have to move ourselves along right after breakfast because our lovely, outgoing, little Parker had insisted that we participate in the Cupid Fun Run...at his school.

We all donned our fun run t-shirts (wish I had a picture of that) and set off.

After that, things took a tiny turn downhill...nothing major...but Jordan was a little wheezy and her inhaler was just about on empty. So, a call for a refill turned into a doctor's appointment...and the Saturday office is kind of far away. But off we go.

No sooner do I get home from the doctor's (and Walgreens) than both Madison and Parker tell me they don't feel well. And they don't look well. In the end Sterling and I ended up staying home and getting take out for our Valentine's celebration. Rebecca ended up on a toilet paper adventure that concluded with one grumpy father (not ours) which caused her and her friends to have to clean up said toilet paper adventure.

But now...I'm staying home from church with two sicky kids...and hopefully getting some reading done. I'm reading Sarah Water's Affinity and it is pretty good so far. Sometime today I'll have to make my way through James Joyce, which is another matter entirely. Oh yeah, and I need to do some critical reading on The Scarlet Letter. I do love that little Pearl, don't you?

another post without a picture

This morning.

I had my carpool. My carpool partner (who doesn't like our friendship to be defined by the carpool...Hi Patricia!!) has class at 9.

Now. The thought of being late to class makes my stomach cringe and acid production to increase three-fold. And because I like Patricia, I wouldn't want her to be late, so I hurry myself right along on Wednesday mornings. I'm up, showered, blown dry, dressed and packed by 7. I then run like a tornado through lunches, last minute note signings, shoe tying, teeth brushing, and Becca hair straightening. Once the bus rounds the corner I wave to the kidlets, cross the street, get directly in my car and move swiftly  out of town (picking up Patricia along the way, obviously).

This morning I realized that Little Truck (LT) was out of gas. There was no way I could get gas, pick up Patricia, and be at school by 9. I decided to bite the bullet and take the big girl (my suburban) because she happened to have a full tank. Also, she is so comfy. And she has automatic things...like windows and cruise control and surround sound. This is what I told myself while I calculated that it would cost me approximately $20 to take her (and only $7 to take LT). Whatever...I put all of my stuff in the suburban and grabbed my iphone adapter and parking pass out of LT. GOT TO HAVE THE PARKING PASS.

I pull into Patricia's driveway and honk the horn. I expected Patricia to come running out of the door with her usual 4 bags, purse, and lunchbag. I waited. I waited. I waited some more.

So then I call her. Because I'm too lazy to get out of the car.

No answer.

THEN I get my sorry self out of the car and ring the bell. The dogs are going berserk.

After a few minutes Patricia comes out. IN HER ROBE.

And guess what? She wasn't going to school today. She had told me last week. I forgot. Because my three remaining brain cells are taken up with miscellaneous dinosaur information. Parker is on a dinosaur unit at school. DANG.

I get back in the car, regroup, and decide to do the responsible thing: I'll take the sub home and pick up LT, cuz now I have time to get gas. No big deal.

I head home, and while I'm talking to my sister on the phone...I MISS MY EXIT.

I regroup again.

I finally get home, pull into the garage, transfer my stuff, and pull out. On my way at last.

But then...once I'm on my way at last...I realize the parking pass is in the sub. MUST HAVE PARKING PASS.

So I go back, AGAIN.

I get the parking pass, drive to Walmart, and snap up the last free gas pump.

And, yes, the pump is broken.

Send donations to: The Sorry-Sack Fund @ Bank of America

sometimes I get out of hand...

I just came downstairs from tucking in Parker. The girls don't need tucking in so much these days. Oh, sure, we could pretend...but they are normally milling about their rooms, doing who knows what, getting ready for tomorrow. At least I THINK they are getting ready for tomorrow. In reality, that is probably a very minor part of their bedtime preparations (if the morning rush is any indication).

Parker and I, however, read a story just about every night. Quite often Becca joins us and perches on the end of his bunk, and I turn the book outward so that everyone can see the pictures. That hurts my hand, but I'm willing to make such sacrifices in the name of literacy. Sometimes we are involved in a chapter book. Who knew the Beast Quest could be so engaging?

My rule about the bedtime story is that Parker get ready for bed, brush his teeth, and pick out a book BEFORE summoning me upstairs. It seems I get a bit irritated and testy if I'm called upstairs to WATCH all of the above listed preparations, especially since such preparations are peppered with odd moments out to arrange matchbox cars or simulate dinosaur battles.

Tonight Parker called me.

"MOM...I'M READY."

And I, of little faith, responded back like this (yelling, because I'm at one corner of the house downstairs and he's at the opposite corner upstairs): "HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH AND PICKED OUT A BOOK?"

"YES."

So, I had to go upstairs. That's the deal.

Once upstairs he presented me with his book of choice...an I Spy book. He knows I don't like the I Spy book. It in no way fulfills the requirements of a bedtime story because, for one, IT'S NOT A STORY. There is not a single line of distinguishable prose. Really, I Spy is a perfect book for his FATHER...the math man, the puzzler, the only person in our relationship with any spatial perception. But the bedtime story is really my thing. And Parker's thing.

I took a deep sigh and decided to cooperate with the I Spy book. The sacrifices I make...

Parker and I lay down on his bottom bunk and turned on his reading lamp. He selected a page and I started calling out the items to look for. Being the competitive little devil he is, Parker started counting points for each item found. And after each point he called out the tally, which usually sounded like this: "I have four and you have one.   I have five and you have one.  I have five and you have two." Suddenly I found myself secretly reading ahead, looking for two or three items at a time...when Parker was only looking for one. I started gaining on him. I found pencil, golf tee, and chocolate sauce within seconds. I was back on top baby.

Then Parker said, "Let's not keep score anymore."

Then I felt like a bad mom.

The end.