Unhistoric Acts

smarty pants

I keep forgetting to post about Parker's recent entry in Cub Scouts. Sterling has been anxiously awaiting this time...when he and his boy could work on the wonders contained within the Cub Scout handbook. In fact, he'd taken Parker through the Bobcat badge within  48 hours of the boy turning eight. Me? I'm breathing a sigh of relief that Sterling is assuming responsibility for scouting...one less thing to make my hair fall out.

Parker's first pack meeting was about chess and he, along with the other boys, earned the chess belt loop. You would have thought the first meeting was lazer tag with a snake show and unlimited ice cream...because Parker was thrilled. He didn't want to leave. He wanted to continue to play chess. He wanted ME to play chess. I gave him the old momma wait-til-later tactic. It goes like this: "Well, you still need to take a shower and get ready for bed, but if there is any time left AFTER that...then we'll play." I call this a tactic because he only had about 20 minutes until bedtime -- certainly not enough time to shower, dress, brush teeth AND play a game of chess.

When will I learn?

He tore through his bedtime routine in about 7 minutes flat. And when he came running downstairs (with hair so wet it was trailing down his neck) and the chess set in his hands...and very hopeful eyes...I could hardly deny him. So, we played...him reminding me of some of the rules. Chess has never been my bag.

The next day after school there was more chess. Anyone he could nail down for more than five minutes...HAD TO PLAY CHESS. The sad thing (for me) is that now, a few weeks after learning the game, Parker can almost beat me. He's jazzed to join the chess club at school next year. Yep, he's a full-fledged nerd in the making. Full-fleged nerdom does not bother me one bit, since his father and I pledged our allegiance to all manner of nerdy activities many moons ago...still I did sign him up for swim team in an attempt to balance his exceedingly nerdy endeavors. I like my nerds to be well-rounded.

I love it when he holds his chin as he is contemplating his next move. Where does he get this stuff? Sometimes he's more like a movie character than a real boy...except for when I try to get him to eat anything green...then he's more like a cartoon character -- the tasmanian devil.

the birthday that never ended...has ended...i think

So, we celebrated Parker's birthday as a family on his actual birth day. The following evening we took him to the restaurant of his choice. A week and a half later he was baptized and we celebrated with lots of family and lots of luncheon. And finally...finally...last night we had some of his friends over for a final blow out. Geez.

It was actually a laid back affair. Well, as laid back as a sleepover with six young boys can be (NOT so laid back, I assure you). They played, Sterling (and Jordan) took them to Lazer X, and we ate CAKE. Currently, I'm a fan of the big cake. It's the same work as a regular-sized cake...but is twice the visual impact. But mostly, I like the big cake because it is just like the cakes in Pollyanna (the Disney version with Haley Mills). If you've seen the movie once (or a billion times, like me) then you will remember the big cakes the cook was secretly making for the bazaar. [I lOvE the word 'bazaar.'] The cakes were huge and looked fantastic. I drooled over those cakes on many a quiet Sunday afternoon while wrapped up in Pollyanna's world. This particular cake involves two chocolate cake mixes baked in 9" round pans and homemade chocolate buttercream frosting. I thought, for a moment, that I had made a huge mistake...that while baking, the cake was about to escape the cake pan and cascade into the bottom of my oven. But no, it stayed intact (barely). I did have to lop off a portion of both cakes since they baked into nice round hills. But that's no problem, my kids snacked on the cake pieces...thereby ruining their pizza dinner. Nice.

Okay, I have no idea what happened with my camera settings here. I can't even blame the grain on high ISO...I had to do doctoring a-plenty to rescue this pic from utter darkness. Seriously. the pic was almost black and I tweaked the heck out of it to find what was hidden within the frame. And even thought the quality is terrible, I'll keep it for the priceless huff and puff expression on Parker's face. Also, for the little motorcycle man being held up by a friend. Wouldn't want him to miss out on the festivities.

This morning, as a break from our normal sleep-over breakfast of DOUGHNUTS (which I love), I decided to go all out (for me, the non-breakfast cooker). I made biscuits, eggs, and bacon. It was super easy because I cooked the bacon in the oven. Now, maybe I was the only one on this Earth missing out on oven-cooked bacon...but my friend Melanie told me about this, and I haven't looked at a frying pan the same since. Here's what you do: Line a jelly-roll pan with foil. On top of the foil place a rack...I use a cooling rack. Then lay out the bacon strip by strip. I put them super close together because we like a lot of bacon. Sometimes I even overlap them a bit. And sometimes (don't tell Melanie) I don't use the baking rack part...and that works fine too. Put them in the oven at about 400 for 20 minutes (turning once) and you've got flat, perfectly cooked bacon AND a clean cook-top.

I know. Many of you are thinking to yourself...microwave bacon...duh. I like the microwave bacon, but it's not quite the same...and really, it's no good when you need bacon in a recipe...it's just not juicy (greasy) enough. And if you don't know by now...I'm a Southern girl...grease was in my baby bottle. I need grease.

cancelled?

Yesterday, ten minutes before my class started (the one I teach) some unnamed, unidentified man-person walked into my classroom, asked which class was to be meeting, and then informed the nearly-full room that class had been canceled. Their dear instructor had just called "upstairs" (yes, the infamous and nebulous "upstairs") and informed "the office" that class would be canceled.

So, when I walked into the room just three minutes before class was to start there were only six students -- six students who had not been present when class had been so arbitrarily dismissed. They had gotten the word from their classmates, but not being privy to the official, unidentified person...they decided to stick it out for a few more minutes.

The whole situation was maddening to me. After questioning the lonesome six, who knew nothing of the Dismisser, I learned only that several students had relayed the class cancellation to them. So, after class I sent off a somewhat snarky e-mail to the entire class informing them that class had not, in fact, been cancelled and that they would be responsible for the materials discussed in their absence.

My e-mail resulted in a flurry of e-mails from concerned students explaining the situation.

Fine.

If someone came into the class claiming that the proff had phoned in a cancellation, I probably would have jumped up, thanked my lucky stars, and raced out the door. So, I can understand their predicament.

The fact that some of them are demanding that they not be counted absent...is another story entirely. Demanding never really gets too far with me.

And what about life lessons? Perhaps these little dear-hearts need to learn to be a bit more circumspect. To ask a few questions. To wait until at least the start-time before wandering off. In the end I won't penalize them, but I'm not rewarding them either. I'm not holding their hand. Rubbing their backs. Promising to make everything fair and better.

I have to do that TIMES four at home.

sunday...

We're wrapping things up around here. Tomorrow the madness begins, once again. EVERYONE has moaned at least once today about school starting back up. Even me. I'm trying to frame it as one-last-push-until-the-summer, but I'm having a hard time convincing even myself. Oh well.

Today (after my nap) I finished off what I hope to be the last big batch of dishes. All of the cooking that went on around here this week...including a dinner Friday for my Aunt Rebecca and Uncle Chuck (hi guys!) has meant a LOT of dishes. I think we may be eating on paper for the next month or two.

Wait.

Scratch that. Eating on paper is expensive AND environmentally unfriendly. I tell you. Between buying organic and being politically correct and focusing on our dismal economy, I can't think of much to do but sit in my house with all of the electricity off, nibble on a few carrots, and try to come up with an alternate name for the Third World. Did you know that the term Third World is no long PC? It's not. Believe me.

Anyway. In addition to all of that...I'm taking pictures of my dishes -- an activity that doesn't appear to harm anyone or anything.

Aaaahhh. All clean.

While all of the cooking and cleaning was going on, my MIL and I instituted a new dish cloth/dish towel program. It looks like this:

As opposed to a stuffed-full drawer...they are now under the kitchen sink. This seems to be working out famously. And now I have two empty drawers. Whatever shall I do? And to think...someone called this blog sanctimonious. I'm sharing profound organizational tips. I'm bettering the world one well-folded dish towel at a time. That's called service folks.

Saturday night Sterling stopped by Hollywood Video (because I've fallen down on my Netflix duties) and picked up a family favorite: Lagaan. Otherwise known as Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India. This movie is over three hours long, is in Hindi (with English subtitles), and is an Indian musical. My kids love it! Sterling first saw it in conjunction with an international relations class he had at Baylor. It is rather heart-wrenching and filled with tension and drama. The girls watched it this afternoon, and surprisingly, Jordan is entirely up-to-date on the rules of Cricket (the game). Here are the girls biting their nails (figuratively) over the climax:

Good luck to all of you back-to-schoolers. We'll be crying over here at 6 AM tomorrow morning. Good bye late nights, and television, and leisurely dinners. Good bye trips to the mall. Good bye to the unnerving crowds at the Natural Science Museum. Good bye hiding in my room to read Uncle Tom's Cabin.

Ummm...well the hiding in my room part (along with Uncle Tom's Cabin) will likely remain.

a number of random pictures

Things are quiet around here this morning. I like quiet. Parker is the only kidlet awake. He's chain-watching television while playing his ds, which means I'm free to flitter my time away on the computer.

I told Jordan about my friend Becky's tradition of making an American Idol poster. Everyone gets to mark their top two choices for winner. I suppose that the person (or persons) who actually pick the winner...should get something? I'm not sure about that. I'll have to consult with Becky on the follow-through. Regardless, Jordan took it upon herself to make our very own American Idol poster. Visitors to our home have expressed jealousy. As well they should. I picked Danny Gokey and Lil Rounds...just in case you were wondering.

Here's my thrifty tip for the day. I found the above flowers at Kroger yesterday (in two different bundles). The spiky flowers (the florist lady said they were a type of mum) had some brownish leaves...like they were old. I asked the florist if she had some fresher ones...she said no but that she would mark them down to a dollar for me. I filled two vases with them. Then I felt like an old lady because I kept telling everyone that I got those flowers for a dollar. Only a dollar. And now I'm telling you. The old lady thing continues.

On to decorating....check out this groovy lamp:

Okay...groovy lamp...but ignore the flowers. They were on the coffee table, but I had to move them last night because they were 1)obstructing my view and 2) interfering with my remote's ability to fast-forward through the commercials. I was up to 1:30 watching tv and waiting for Madison to get home from the Taylor Swift concert. I made it through House, Private Practice, Grey's and half of ER before she waltzed through the door. I was a complete hypocondriac by the end of that line-up. 14-year-old girls should be in bed. That's all I have to say about that.

One last thing...

What do you think about the plates on top of the entertainment center? I do realize (from this picture) that they are somewhat askew. But still, do we like? or no?

cooking up a storm

Since Sterling's mom has been here...we've been eating well. Any thoughts of dropping a pound or two this week ran screaming from the room days ago. She's in the kitchen chopping and cooking and experimenting for hours. Such attention to food stuffs would make me crazy, but I sure do like eating the results.

Do you think my family will be disappointed when they have to go back to 'Sarah's Simple Cookin'"? I think there may be a few tears shed. Now, sometimes I make good stuff...I'm just not real consistent. I feel like if I've done the full monty on dinner at least 3 nights out of the week (and on Sundays), I'm doing pretty well. I start patting myself on the back and congratulating myself and treating myself to....well, cupcakes. Do you see a problem here?

We've also been working on accessorizing the living room. I'm not good at the STUFF. I think I do fairly well with the big decisions, but the STUFF? Well, I tend to get overwhelmed, so the STUFF never really gets finished. Sterling's mom is good with the STUFF, so she's been helping me out. I'll post some finished pictures ...when we're finished. Can you see the army men perched on the edge of the green, square platter? Parker does not let redecorating stand in the way of a decent army set-up.

See what I mean? He's been such a good kid this week, even though we've shopped alot (which he hates) and stayed up late alot (which he loves). So...to be fair to the boy we're taking him to the 3-D Shark Imax movie at the Natural Science Museum. In my opinion, if you've wandered through innumerable home deco stores, you should be rewarded with raw, natural carnage. Sharks are good for that.

weekend festivities

In our faith, children are baptized when they turn eight. It's a big deal, and this being our last child to turn eight...it seemed perhaps even a bigger deal than usual. This being the case, there was a flurry of preparations for the service (new sports coat, shirt, and real-life Bass Weejuns), the family luncheon afterwards, and getting ready for house guests.

So now you can see why I was absolutely FREAKING out when I accidentally locked the maid out on Monday and then flooded my bedroom that same evening. The freaking was only exacerbated by some rather serious matters occurring at school on the same week -- a paper due and securing the chair for my dissertation committee. Such matters made my mind unable to fathom spending an entire day cleaning...since on Monday I still had papers to write, books to read, clothing to locate and purchase, and a luncheon for 30 to pull together.

In the end it all worked out fine. Maria came on Thursday (thanks to the generosity of a neighbor, who gave up her day [Hi Rachel!]), and I found a carpet guy on Tuesday to come and replace the pad and get everything secured back in place. What a relief.

For the luncheon we ordered barbecue from Spring Creek but I made all of the sides (green salad, fruit tray, potato salad, corn bread). And for dessert? Cupcakes, of course. This event warranted the purchase of a cupcake stand...what every cupcake artist dreams of. I made Martha's cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, and they were GOOD. The cupcake part is rather dense and has buttermilk, vanilla, and almond flavoring in it...which makes it very tasty. I don't believe I'll be making these again anytime soon since their presence in my house makes me want to eat cupcakes constantly, but I could absolutely recommend them for a special occasion. Like loading the dishwasher. That seems like special occasion enough.

So, here's the whole crew on Saturday:
 
Parker was quite happy with his new duds. He happily re-donned the jacket Sunday morning and kept in on for all of church. He likes dressing like his dad.

Sterling's mom is staying with us this week and has promised to do all of the cooking for the week. I'll happily relinquish my spatula to her. Because while I do cook quite a bit, it is a strictly utilitarian task for me. I would never cook for fun or just for the heck of it. I cook because, well, my kids demand it and I want them to eat healthy foods...not ONLY cereal for dinner...which has been known to happen on occasion. Or I cook because I like having people over.  What will I do with all of this free time this week? No cooking, no school...the kids are lining up activities like crazy...like going to the ceramic-painting place, and the bead place, and bowling.

What about sleeping and doing absolutely nothing? Doesn't that sounds like fun to anyone? Anyone?

tales from a nitwit

It has been pointed out to me recently that I am, indeed, a nitwit. A neighbor notified me that I had been called out in blogland for my rather thoughtless and apparently idiotic use of the words "Spring-back," when, in fact, we have Sprung-forward.

Of course. Of course we've sprung-forward. Otherwise I wouldn't be complaining. I'm not one to scoff at an extra hour of sleep.

As for the nitwit comment. Ouch. But about now I feel so scattered that I can't completely disagree.

But as for the accusation (in the same post) that my blog regularly features "sanctimoninous tripe," that I fancy myself "holier than thou" -- well, with those lables I must take issue.

Because really, how sanctimonious is toilet water all over one's bedroom carpet? Or what about when I shared the time I slipped on my car's running board and landed on my backside in a puddle of rainwater mixed with my own diet Coke? Or what about the fact that I semi-regularly forget orthodontic appointments? Or when I scream at my kids for no good reason? Or eat myself into an oblivion?

No. No...those are not moments of sanctimonious blathering...those are the experiences of a nitwit. And, I believe, I have already acceded to the nitwit allegation (see paragraph 3).

So, now, not only do I have four children, one husband, and innumerable professors to point out my downfalls, I also have the Internet. Today, Internet, you are not my BFF. (But let's make up tomorrow. I have some online shopping to do.)

so...my to-do list grows increasingly more lengthy...

Part one of my 26-step-plan to get ready for Parker's baptism while finishing a paper, two novels, all of Herman Melville's shorts stories and three chapters of James Joyce's Ulysses...was to have Maria come today to clean the house. I left a little earlier than usual this morning but left the door unlocked so Maria could come in and work her magic.

No Maria.

Madison, the first one home from school, says the door was locked (although she came in through the garage). I'm freaking out and calling Maria every 15 minutes.

In my utter distress over the Maria debacle (which is probably my fault) I go into my room to...um...use the facilities and change my clothes. I then check my e-mail. Sterling and the kids come back from piano and we chat. I go back to my bedroom for something and VOILA! there is water ALL over the bathroom floor. Luckily, there is no water on the carpet. The toilet had overflowed WHILE CONTINUING TO RUN...and there was A LOT of water. Sterling grabbed the shopvac and we thought we had things under control.

But no.

It seems that at the doorway to the bathroom...that darn carpet pad had started drinking down the bathroom water. And it drank. And drank. And drank. It was insatiable. Really.

We ended up pulling up the carpet along one whole side of the room, cutting out the pad, and putting fans in place to dry it out. So now...in addition to having a not-Maria-cleaned house...I have carpet problems and need to try to find someone to repair the carpet...preferably before the weekend.

All I can say is this....THIS IS WHY I'M PRONE TO MEDICATING MYSELF WITH FOOD.

The end.

why are we saving daylight? I have electricity...how about you?

I'm not a big fan of the Spring-Back plan. Our yard is more of a postage stamp than real acreage...so I can do without the extra daylight hours for outdoor work. Also, it's rather hard to make your kids come in to bathe and do homework and go to bed when it's so light outside. So, strike two against daylight savings. And for three? I had to get up an hour earlier this morning. That's it. I'm done.

But beyond that...I'm through with my funk from Saturday and ready to sort my way through the rest of the semester. And really, what other choice do I have?

No choice.

So Onward Christian Soldiers...and other good, let's-get-moving sentiments.

This week, aside from school, we will be preparing for Parker's baptism on Saturday. There are new church shoes to purchase, a house to clean (thankfully Maria comes tomorrow), barbecue to order (lunch for 35 or so), and if I could squeeze in a pedicure...my toes would be super grateful.

I'll even try to make time for a picture or two. Alert to all Texans: Bluebonnets are in full bloom. I know this because of my intimate association with rural Texas highways. I heart rural Texas highways...and the bluebonnets are an added bonus for a few short weeks. So, load up the kidlets, mosey out of town, and plunk them down in fields of blue. It's what parents do. Not me, of course, because I'm too busy and full of dark, brooding thoughts.