Unhistoric Acts

now, where were we?

Folks! It's summer. My big girls have been done with school since last Wednesday, and my two youngers finish off things tomorrow. Phew!

Parker is already moving into summer mode. Can't you tell by the catatonic look? Yes, he's watching tv. But he has his army men close by. Little lego men in every nook and cranny is an absolute necessity. By all reports Rebecca sliced her foot this morning on one of Parker's toys...so he is IN BIG TROUBLE in her book.

I'm like, "sliced foot? That's nothing. You should see the stretch marks he gave me."

Nothing silences the offspring like comments on stretch marks. At times like these...I really dig being a mom.

Tomorrow is our fifth annual end-of-school street party. We've rented a giant water slide. Our neighbor has graciously offered her giant pool. And I'm making cupcakes. My kids have requested minion cupcakes. I acquiesced because I have an affinity for the Twinkie.

I happen to love Despicable Me, so the minions are near and dear to my heart. (As are Twinkies. Have I mentioned that?) I found these particulare minions with directions here.

Lots going on here...be back with more later.

the last project...i think

Do you guys watch The Middle? You should...cuz it's funny. In the last episode the mom buys a single tiki torch (because it will transform their backyard into an island paradise), only to find out that each of her children has some major projects/obstacles to finishing the last four days of school.

She curses the early purchase of the tiki torch, as if by prematurely summoning summer...she cursed herself.

Oh Frankie. I get you.

We, too, have been embroiled in final projects, exams, recitals, awards assemblies and MUCH, much more. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now...but only because Parker carted his catapults up to the economics fair today. Yes. Catapults.

Each year the fourth graders at our school participate in an economics fair. It's actually pretty fun and my kids always look forward to it. Since Parker is in fourth grade this year he was a producer. He and a buddy needed to develop and produce a product. They would then sell it to the third graders. Yes...to the third grade babies.

Parker and his friend Ben were pretty much set on blow darts. They had this idea to cut off the ends of shoelaces...and then blow them through straws. Actually, it's a pretty effective little dart...but they aren't supposed to spend more than $6 and procuring the ends of shoelaces? Not such a simple task.

In the end, they really just wanted a weapon. Sterling helped them come up with this.

We hot-glued a small piece of straw to the plastic spoon. The straw, then, holds the projectile (in our case, airsoft pellets). You simply pull back on the spoon and then BAM! RELEASE. It could put an eye out. (Not that I'm accepting liability should that occur.) Here was my contribution: Sterling was trying to find something to hold the airsoft pellet. He tried regular straws, but they were too small...the pellet would stick. But I, in my ultimate wisdom, knew that McDonald's straws have a significantly larger diameter. I ran down to the golden arches and picked up a handful. Worked like a charm. See? All of that Diet Coke drinking really paid off for me there.

We packaged those babies up with a handful of airsoft pellets and some tantalizing labeling.

IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS!
TORTURE YOUR SISTER (OR BROTHER)!
BUY A CATAPULT TODAY!!!

And that's it. Last project complete. I surrender.

Waving the white flag.

Climbing into bed.

Do not disturb.

 

if at first you don't succeed...

Yep. It's me again. Woman of the Black Thumb.

Back when we were readying the yard for spring I planted Vincas along both sides of our walkway as you got close to the front porch. I like Vincas. I like their dark green leaves and their smartly-tailored flowers. As you might already know (cuz I've reported this before), the flowers on the right of the walkway flourished, doubled in size. Look at the pic. I'm not making this stuff up.

Unfortunately, the flowers on the left of the walkway turned a nasty yellow and died. I ripped those babies out one day in a frenzy. I replaced them with impatiens, and while I realize impatiens are shade plants...and I planted them in full sun...I could swear to you these impatiens were WITH the full sun plants...and I'd read about full sun impatiens.

BUT.

These impatiens were apparently NOT full sun because they shriveled and died.

My mom told me to plant Begonias. I'm not a fan of the Begonia. I don't even really like the name. I thought about just giving up. After all, it's not shameful if you've already planted your flowerbed TWICE. For goodness sakes.

But in a last fit of stubbornness, I took myself down to the nursery...the real one...not Home Depot or Lowes. Last time I went to Home Depot I asked the guy for something to treat aphids. He thought I wanted to fertilize them. Ummm...aphids are bugs.

Then he pointed me to some Andro. Ummm...these aphids are on my green bean plants...I'm fairly certain Andro is not vegetable friendly. Get my drift about Home Depot?

At the real nursery I explained my sordid gardening past, and the gardening man suggested Pentas. Yes, Pentas please.

They are grafitti white and pink. Also, they are perennials, so in the off chance we don't have subfreezing temps this winter...the pentas could always make a comeback.

I also planted some Lantana in a pot on my porch. I'm downright amazed at the intricate flower on Lantana. I know my Mom doesn't like Lantana for some reason...but I can't remember why...I just hope it's not because they up and die on you. Or get worms. Or turn yellow. I've had about enough of that.

garden update and a super-awesome summer menu

I know you've all been waiting on pins and needles for a garden update. Right?

Bueller? Bueller?

[I do the Bueller thing in my classes from time to time. You know, when I ask a question and NOONE ventures an answer. Then I say, "Bueller. Bueller." Mostly, my students are far too young to get it. Sad.]

The garden is rockin'. My only regret is that I have but 20 square feet. I'm hoping to increase my acreage (really my foot-age) for a fall planting.

As you can see the basil is reaching gargantuan proportions.. There are two squares of okra, two squares of bell peppers, a struggling eggplant, german thyme, chives, summer squash, zucchini, cucumber, green beans (that are planning to take over the world), and three tomato plants. Current garden excitement includes FOUR grape tomatoes, a teeny, tiny cucumber, and finally...a female bloom on the summer squash. By next week I'll be selling tickets.

The green beans, cucumber, zucchini, and summer squash all have to be trellised. In other words, since there is no room to grow OUT...they will be growing UP. My handy husband set up the trellis this weekend. The frame is made of electrical conduit and the net is actually a nylon netting sold by Burpee. I got mine in the gardening section of Home Depot. The beans, as you can see, are already making their way up. Those tendrils are aggressive.

This morning, after watering the garden, I was feeling rather granola...and set out to plan a light, healthy, vegetable-heavy weekly menu. Here's what I came up with:

Monday: I know. Monday has come and gone. We had leftovers because I was too busy playing Speed Scrabble to make dinner. The leftovers, however, were from Sunday: Pioneer Woman's spaghetti and meatballs and PW's Greek salad. Love both.

Tuesday: Real Simple's Chicken Enchiladas with Green Salsa

Made this tonight and it was a huge, huge hit. It's fairly quick and easy because you use rotisserie chicken. The green salsa is the best so don't skip that step. I forgot to pick up a jalapeno and it was still a great, fresh-tasting salsa. Let me just say one more thing: MAKE THE SALSA.

Wednesday: Real Simple's Cool Southwestern Salad with Corn and Avocado

Trying this tomorrow!

Thursday: Real Simple's (Yes, I have the Real Simple cookbook) Skirt Steak with Lemon and Chili-Roasted Potatoes

Are you surprised I'm planning a mostly-non-Pioneer-Woman menu?

Me too.

Happy Cooking.

 

 

chair gets new life

I am super slow moving in the home deco department. Some of this tardiness is due to busyness. But the largest portion of blame? I like to keep my options open. Once I make a final decision...then I'm cemented in. I don't really like cemented in...so I tend to procrastinate.

One such instance? Almost a full year ago I bought a cool red chair at a local thrift store. I bought it specifically for my master bedroom. At the time of purchase, I fully intended to have the chair recovered. I even went so far as to purchase some grey upholstery fabric. But then I grew rather fond of the red chair.

In all honesty, I must have done a number on Photoshop because the chair wasn't QUITE this cheery of a red. But still, I LOVED that red chair. Except this Spring it started looking even rattier than when I picked it up from the thrift store. And I had an empty spot in my bedroom...with no place to put the bed pillows at night.

So...the red chair has been reincarnated and is in its rightful spot.

I even had the guy make a new pillow for the back of the chair...the good old red chair had apparently lost it's original cushion.

For a long time I've been hoping that a doctor or dentist would marry into the family. But now...I'm thinking we could really use an upholsterer. Jenny?

 

the hair...

Madison's choir banquet was last night. She didn't get home until almost 11 and then she got up for seminary at 5. My poor, poor baby. Our entire household will breathe a collective sigh of relief when school gets out in a week and a half. Right now we are pretty much treading water.

My Maddie has tons of beautiful, curly hair. I think most of the time she is at peace with her curls, but there are moments when she bemoans their propensity to expand (particularly in a very humid climate). So, on the rare occasion when she straightens her hair, we all sit up and take notice. Rebecca took on the lengthy task last night. I was upstairs in the gameroom hanging up pictures and picking up, and I slowed down my work so that I could listen to the chatter. Madison was sitting on a chair in front of a mirror in Rebecca's room. Rebecca worked patiently, piece by piece, smoothing and re-smoothing long ringlets, and all the while telling about different people and teachers at her school. They were like two old ladies at a small-town hair salon dishing out the latest gossip. So cute.

Now if I can just teach Rebecca how to round-brush my hair we'll be all set.

my becca kate

Our family, like many, is in the middle of May concert madness. So far we've enjoyed one orchestra concert (Jordan), the high school choir pop show (Madison), and the middle school choir pop show (Rebecca). Sunday we'll round out the week's activities with a piano recital. I used to dread this time of year, as in wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-grinding-my-teeth kind of dread. But most of that anxiousness came from chasing toddlers and soothing babies during hours of playing and singing...not a task for the weak of heart. Now that my kids are all big, I can finally sit back and enjoy the festivities. And enjoy them I will! Hurray for festivities!

Perhaps noone enjoys the festivities more than my Rebecca. This girl is a performer. She started out small, giving family shows that included singing and speechifying, and she's never lost her thirst for the spotlight. She loves to sing, and she is not afraid to belt it out in front of large crowds...gotta give the girls props for nerves.

Several weeks ago she began searching for the perfect song. She practiced and practiced, arranged for lessons with an accomplished high school singer, worked on her costuming, and endured a try out. She was the only girl chosen for a solo. Go Becca!

I'll say this for her -- Becca enjoys every single step of the process. Yesterday after school she neatly packed every item for costume changes. She rechecked her bag several times. She asked for "stage makeup," and she had her hair curled by Jordan's friend, Rachel. This girl has it together. I just stand by and assist when needed.

And she did it. The middle school cafeteria was packed tight. Every chair was filled. People were sitting on the floor. People were standing all along the back and sides. And Becca marched herself to the front and sang "American Honey" by Lady Antebellum. I had to hold back the tears -- her being my baby and all. Afterwards she told me she was just "sad it was all over."

Here's where Becca and I part ways. I would have been SO RELIEVED to be done. I would have bemoaned ALL OF THE WORK. I would be ready to MOVE ON and stop worrying about the pop show. I learn stuff from my kids all of the time, and last night...Becca showed me what it means to enjoy the process. How is it that she knows more about how to live life at 13 than I do at 40? Sometimes being a mom is super cool.

 

 

grown up kids & Jane Austen

No, this post isn't about Burt's Bees. Apparently, I can't aim the focus too well today. I was trying to take a picture of that beautiful book.

That beautiful book is the Penguin classics hardcover edition of Sense and Sensibility. Jordan gifted me the book for Mother's Day. Not too long ago Jordan discovered the joy of ordering stuff over the Internet, and now I get awesome presents! I think it all stemmed from a coversation that went something like this:

Jordan: "Mom, I need you to order me an AP study guide."

Me: Okay.

[Next day]

Jordan: "Mom, have you ordered me that AP study guide?"

Me: "Shoot. No, I forgot."

[Repeat above two lines about four times.]

Me: Ummm...why don't you order it yourself? (genius)

And voila! Jordan was introduced to the beauty of online ordering. Her online world is now limited only by her imagination and her paltry allowance...which allowance will not allow for too much online shopping.

Ahhh...I think I've done my motherly duty.

Teach how to order from Amazon. Check.

P.S. I'm rereading Sense and Sensibility and I'm entralled. Those women are so witty. I'd like to spend the entire day with Elinor.

the most awesome saturday ever

Quite often I find myself frustrated of a Saturday. There are many demands. Many needs. And many things/jobs I really don't want to do. Also, Sterling has been working a fair number of Saturdays, which has also cut down drastically on my Saturday love.

But today. Today was a great Saturday...the kind of Saturday that every Saturday should be. (But they're not...and thus my grumpiness).

First of all, when I woke up this morning and opened the back door to let the dog out, I was met with a rush of cool, awesome, stupendous breeze. It was about 65. It wasn't humid. The weather was, in short, perfect. Sunny. Colorful. Breezy. Very un-Houston-like-in-May. I approve.

Secondly, Parker and I decided to make biscuits, but I was completely out of baking powder (who runs out of baking powder?), so we were forced to make a Shipleys run (best doughnuts in the history of the world). On our way back from Shipleys we stopped at Lowes to pick up replacement plants for my blighted Vincas. If it's going to be 65 and breezy...then I'm doing yardwork. That's a rule.

Thirdly, Maddie, Becca, Parker and I hit the outlet mall to find the perfect outfit for Becca's pop show solo performance this week. I bought Parker a pretzel and myself a Diet Coke, and we sat outside under a shady umbrella and enjoyed the people-watching while the girls shopped. The girls found their stuff, and we left the outlet mall before my head exploded. This rarely happens. My head usually explodes long before anyone buys anything. True story.

Fourth, Sterling and went to Ikea. I LOVE Ikea. I love the smell. I love the tiny pretend living rooms, and bedrooms, and kitchens. I love planning my future urban loft with Sterling. My undying devotion is weird. We found our couch (the Karlstad) in record time and made it through checkout. Did you know Ikea only has self-check out now? This is difficult when you are trying to maneuver an entire couch through the checkout line. Not even kidding. Finding the barcodes required a graduate degree.

The only hitch was when we went to put everything in the car. The couch fit, but not WITH the chaise section. Lucky for me, Sterling is a packing, knot-tying afficianado. He made it work.

The couch portion had to ride on top. It made me super nervous. Instead of helping, I just stood around and took pictures with my iphone. He's a lucky man, right?

The reason I insisted on bringing the suburban, instead of the truck was because I wanted to go out to dinner afterwards...and I didn't want to leave our Ikea purchases exposed (and open for theft). That plan sure didn't work out, but Sterling was sure no one would steal our Karlstad sofa off the top of our car while we were eating. I wasn't so sure. I said, "Okay, but if we walk out of the restaurant and the sofa is gone we are driving straight back to Ikea and buying another one." Sterling started laughing and promised we would do just that. [Note: No one touched the Karlstad.]

Then, we had dinner at RA Sushi. And then we bought the rhino head at Anthropologie.

See? Best day ever, right????

 

rain...at last

It's raining. Finally. We haven't had rain in months. Such a drought...in the Spring...in Houston is rare. I heard on the news that the last time we had more than 1/2" of rain was January 24th. And unless this storm brings between 15 and 18 inches of rain...we are still going to be at a serious deficit.

Look at me! Talking about the weather like an old timer!

We have this "thing" at our school called "inclement weather dismissal," which means that because of thunder and lightening they won't release the walkers and bike riders to walk or...er....ride. In the two years we've been without busing...the inclement weather dismissal has never occurred. And because of its rare occurrence, I am not up on the specifics.

For this reason I made a spectacle of myself today at the elementary school. Here's how it went down:

When it was still raining near the end-of-school-time, I checked the school website just to make sure it wasn't an inclement weather day. Nope, nothing there. Supposedly I was to receive a phone call or an e-mail. No. Neither. I waited a few minutes, but then I got antsy. I grabbed an umbrella and hopped on my bike thinking I would meet Parker along the way. If you happen to be awkward and clumsy (I'm both) I wouldn't recommend holding an umbrella and riding a bike in windy, rainy weather. Not an easy task.

Once I'm about halfway there, and I don't see anyone on the trail, I realize it must, indeed, be an inclement weather day. And although I am clinging to my umbrella as if it is a life raft (which at one point turns completely inside out) my pant legs are soaked through and splattered with mud. But, I reason, I'm almost to the school. So, I'll just carry on, pick up Parker, ride with him home, and then dry off.

Wet and bedraggled I approach the school. I ask one of the teachers standing outside where I can go to pick up my child. She tells me I can't pick him up without a car.

Oh.

Well, my car is at home.

You need a car.

My car is at home.

So I'm directed to the office where I learn, in fact, that I do need a car to pick up my child on an inclement weather day. I'm sure such a policy is more to stem the tide of pushy parents rushing the school to get their kids than to discriminate against people without cars. But still.

There are several parents in front of me that are nigh onto hysterical. They are DEMANDING their children. They are BERATING this INEFFICIENT system. They are OUT FOR BLOOD.

I decide to call Jordan to come and get us. She has a car...which apparently I need in a bad way.

But while I'm trying to reach Jordan, the principal, in an effort to clear out the angry mob, announces she'll get the kids for the parents in the office. She doesn't want to. She knows it might cause additional confusion and unrest, but she agrees to do it. I slowly put down the phone and stand quietly until Parker is brought to me. (Because, you see, the line is at least an hour wait.)

Then we walk out the back of the school, fetch our bikes, and ride through the rain while some 100+ people in the car line watch us. I'm certain they were judgmental. I'm sure they were clucking their tongues and shaking their heads at me and my wet child in the rain on our bikes. I felt slightly foolish myself. But I was already there. I had two bikes there. I was already soaking wet. It seemed most prudent to just carry on.

So I did.

Have I ever told you that my grandmother was just such a lady to CARRY ON? One time, when I was in elementary school, she came to stay with us while my parents went on a trip. It must have been summertime in Texas and HOT. She wanted to go on a nature walk. She was always going on about the nature walk. I was not a fan of hot nature. I'm sure I told her so. She claimed that an umbrella would keep the hot sun off of us. So, she picked up the uber large patio umbrella (right out of the hole in the middle of the patio table) and marched all five of us off on a nature walk. Under the patio umbrella! I remember thinking, "I can't wait until my mom gets home and I can tell her how inappropriately the patio umbrella was abused." But now? I think my grandmother was one resourceful lady.