Unhistoric Acts

craft by stealth

Other than my alphabet sampler, I've tried to keep crafting to a minimum this summer. I do this both to encourage myself to keep plodding along on the old dissertation AND to prevent myself from starting projects that in all likelihood I'll never finish. So, I look at Pinterest longingly, and then I move on with my life. This type of self-control, added to the fact that I'm starving myself, is making for some rather bleak moments. But I figure that in the end I'll be skinny and unfulfilled, and it seems that's what I'm going for at the moment.

Does this make sense to you?

Cuz it looks plumb crazy when I type it out like that.

So, yesterday afternoon around 4, I'd had enough of the computer and neo-Victorian texts and how Margaret Thatcher's call to Victorian values affected feminist concerns (if it did at all). I could think of nothing else to do, so I grabbed Madison and we headed out to Sonic happy hour. I'm telling you there is summer magic in that moment when you roll down your car window, feel the blast of summer heat, and say, "I'd like Route 44 Diet Coke with lime." Sweet relief.

Then, because it was staring me in the face from the drive-thru line at Sonic, we went to peruse the Hobby Lobby. Once at Hobby Lobby I threw all caution to the wind and bought some fabric and some yarn. I'm weak. I needed to DO something with my hands.

For almost two weeks now I've had this page open on my computer. I never could bring myself to close it, and every now and again I'd mosey over and read through the directions. I simply can't explain my fascination with the crochet-egdged pillowcase, but it's there. Maybe it started with this picture on Pinterest. Maybe it began when I bought this old pillowcase at the antique store in San Antonio.

(Excuse the blurry pic.) I just really like the idea of someone so carefully constructing their bed linens. Also, I'm enamoured with things made of string. Crochet...knit...bring it on. I can't necessarily do it...but I love it all the same.

Maddie and I arrived home sometime before five. I tidied up the kitchen, put baked potatoes in for supper, and called Sterling and planned a little OUT TO DINNER date for us. And then I thought I'd just cut out the pillowcase. Turns out it takes about 10 minutes to cut out and construct the entire thing. THAT is my kind of crafting. Then, after dinner, I thought I'd just try the blanket stitch. Then I watched a youtube video on single and double crochet. And BAM! By 9 this morning I had this baby all finished. Complete. Finito. Who's finishing projects now baby???

YouGoGirl! teaches you to make what she calls a "posh pillowcase." This simply means that there is a flap inside to tuck your pillow into nice and tight. Plus, it hides any unsightly naked pillows, which seemed like a might fine idea to me. I'm totally against nude pillows.

See the little pocket? Nice touch.

And voila! It's a PILLOWCASE. This one, while cool, is a little vibrant for my taste. I think next time I might try a soft, solid color and just do a polka dot on the inside flap itself. But I do have enough supplies to make one more just like the one in the picture. And since I'm all about finishing things and not wasting ... I might just crank out another one today.

And then I'm thinking about a pillowcase club. We could make tons of them. Who's in?

what's for dinner

FOLKS! I made this for dinner last night. Yep, homemade whole wheat naan with some tender chicken from ye olde trusty crockpot. The naan was simple to make and super tasty. I cut some chicken breasts into pieces and threw them, along with a healthy portion of the Italian dressing from Our Best Bites and some chickpeas, into the slow cooker. When the kids were ready to eat (well, when I could wait no longer to eat, since I'm still on the starve-yourself-plan), I cooked up the naan...crumbled goat cheese on top, piled on some chicken and some greens and dug in. The kids also put some of the dressing on their naan "taco" but I decided enough was enough. How can one starve oneself if one's naan taco is dripping with oil? One can't. Bummer.

This is my ideal type of recipe...looks like a big, fancy effort...but really is no big thing. I played it up big for Sterling though, documenting how I'd made the dough earlier so it could rise, and how I made the dressing from scratch. He was good and impressed, which is how I like to keep things. If I were to write a cookbook I would title it something like "Ain't No Big Thang," and it would be full of recipes that look and taste time-consuming...but can be made in 20 minutes. (Unlike Rachel Ray's 30 minute meals which always take me an hour and 30 minutes ON THE SHORT SIDE.)

And tonight...tonight I'll be trying these P.F. Change lettuce wrap knock offs. I'm going for a European dinner experience and just picking out a dinner recipe each morning...then I go to the story...EVERYDAY...then I go home and make it. It's not an efficient method to say the least. But I'm workin' it.

And that, really, is it. Things are slow around here....and I LIKE IT.

rain makes mud

In these days of drought...when it rains...we all stand in awe. We watch those little droplets of water with wonder and possibly even reverence. Yesterday evening, for the first time in, well, about six months, a thunderstorm blew into our little part of town -- complete with wind, thunder, lightening, and big fat raindrops. The children were mesmerized.

Of course, the storm also knocked the power out just as we were leaving to head to my mom's for dinner. I unlatched the garage door opener (so my car wasn't trapped) and we braved the storm. Certainly I'll take my brood into a thunderstorm for a dinner-I-didn't-have-to-cook.

In total yesterday we went without phone, internet, tv, and electricity...none by choice. No sooner had the folks plumbing the pool put their shovels in the dirt than they cut straight through the cable line. I got a bit nervous because, of course, our business calls all come to a land line in the house. So no cable...meant no way for our customers (or potential customers) to reach us. Then Debbie suggested I forward the calls to my cell phone. Oh. Duh. So I did...and we spent the morning without tv (or Internet) and pretended we lived in the olden days. Until the AT&T guy showed up about 10:30. I wanted to make him some cookies, but he couldn't stay.

Have I mentioned that Jordan is working at the Gap Outlet? She worked yesterday but made it home in time to join us for dinner. I'm extremely happy with our choice to "gently suggest" that she get a job this summer. It's been just the right amount of time to keep her busy without interfering with most of her fun plans, and she's experiencing what it's like to work for someone else...to negotiate her schedule...to get a paycheck. Of course, it's not for long as school starts back up in less than a month. I'll def be taking Parker back-to-school shopping at the Gap before she's done...she gets 50% off at the regular Gap. Holla!!

Today? Hopefully picking out tile and coping! And NOT eating any of the strawberry coconut cake I made for dinner last night. Great recipe though. Try it.

here's a good story for ya...

I think that I endure more than my fair share of embarassing moments. I'm not super coordinated, and there are also times when I'm distracted to the point of, well, distraction. At times such as these I often fall victim to certain circumstances that are humiliating or weird or just downright pathetic.

This is sort of one of those times.

Although I will not take responsibility for the events I'm about to recount. I've given the matter considerable thought, and I've figured out the possible parties to blame. Those being: a) the people in charge of road construction or b) my children, who permanently maimed my body. I'll tell the story and you can be the judge.

This occurred two weekends ago when the whole family was returning from San Antonio. Sterling had driven part of the way, but about 90 miles out we switched. The entire car was asleep, and I was driving peacefully along. Serious, there was peace in the car. I was almost to Katy, a suburb of Houston and the point where I would exit the freeway and make my way to Cypress. I kind of needed to stop for the ladies' room, but I figured I'd do that once I exited. I'm about two miles from my exit when the traffic stops. Dead. No cars are moving. Curious.

Is it a wreck? Construction? WHAT UP???

Everyone keeps sleeping and I keep waiting. Sometimes we inch forward. Most of the time we don't. What I have figured out is that the closest exit is one mile away. Also, we are on an overpass, so we are up high. Also, I still need to use the ladies' room.

We sit in the car for an HOUR. By this time everyone is awake. Sterling and I have switched positions and he is driving, and I am nervously wondering what I'm going to do about the ladies' room situation. Here's where the problem might be my children's fault: Four pregnancies ruined my bladder. Like decimated it. Forever.

The line isn't moving but nature is calling something fierce. I can't predict how much longer we will be trapped. I'm talking myself down off a ledge. I'm doing some recovery breathing.

Nope. Not helping.

So I do what any logical person would do. I exited the vehicle. Walked myself down the overpass, marched across the on ramp, and then ran like heck across the feeder (what you northerners might call an access road). Then I scaled a small ditch and walked straight into a Denny's like I didn't have a care in the world. I used their facilities and then parked myself on a comfy bench in the lobby area and intended on waiting for Sterling to swing around and pick me back up.

However. By looking out the window I could see that there wouldn't be any way to quickly swing around. By now the feeder road was backed up as far as I could see. He was still on the freeway (remember, only one mile to the exit). I figured it could take over an hour to make it back to Denny's. I called Sterling to consult.

So ... that's how I came to be huffing and puffing along Interstate 10 in 100 degree weather at 5:30 in the afternoon. I had to catch up to them and intercept them when they exited the freeway. I had my capris on and my American Eagle flip flops and my Fossil purse strapped across my chest, and I'm hauling it down the field that runs along the feeder ... like some soccer mom on a drug selling expedition. I can't speak for all American cities, but people in Houston don't walk along the freeways. There really isn't a space for pedestrians. And it's dangerous. And it's hot.

Anyway, Sterling told me he was behind a big orange semi truck. Once I spotted the truck I started running. Except those flip flops were less than cooperative. And as soon as I'd get close, the line would move and they'd jump up another 300 feet or so. It was bad. And I was sweating. And I was worried that the tide of traffic would carry Sterling further and further away.

Luckily, he was able to pull into an empty turn lane on the right hand side of the road. I flip-flopped up the access rode and jumped in. The kids were staring at me with these bemused but scared looks on their faces...cuz I'm sure every teenager wants to see her 40-year old mother running like a crazy woman down the freeway. I know I would. So then I had to be all cheery and able to laugh at myself because I didn't want to scar my children. But I really wanted to lay out a string of curse words or cry or suck my thumb.

Then we drove home and I thought about how that astronaut woman had the right idea with her adult diapers. Gross...but practical.

they're back!!

Becca (picture to come...she's still sleeping) and Parker got back from their week in Salt Lake City yesterday. They had a great time, but this momma was ready for them to come home. Parker is my little buddy throughout the day and really works to keep the dialogue moving. So in his absence....

....crickets chirping....

There was a lot of quiet, which was kind of nice but mostly boring.

This morning he's already asked me to do 15 things...so we are BACK TO NORMAL. Which is fine by me. Great even.

Over the past two months we've managed to keep a big secret from Parker. Mostly, I didn't want to get him too excited lest we decide against his heart's desire. I wanted to make a logical, grown-up decision not influenced by big brown puppy eyes. But really, those puppy eyes are imprinted on my heart. Along with all of my girlies. And while he was gone...we finally saw some action. He came home to this:

Let me just interject here that Parker loves to swim. He asks for a pool several times a week...both in cold weather and in hot. I'm not sure if you know this but ALL of his friends have pools. So, I was thinking this suprise would blow his ever-lovin' 10-year-old mind. I'm thinking shrieking. Manic giggling. Possibly crying.

Hmmmm. It ended up being more like a big smile and a few exclamations of cool.

I'll take it...but I would have appreciated the shrieking.

hump day

Parker and Rebecca are coming home tomorrow! I couldn't be more excited. Things are kind of lifeless here without them, and I'm ready to have all of my chickens under my wing...right where they should be. I always think I'll get a ton accomplished when my kids are out of town, but it's never quite what I think. I'm so lost without them that there is a lot of aimless wandering and staring out of windows (and at HGTV).

Take today, for example:

Jordan and I watched the backyard and contemplated the meaning of the universe for a good while this morning.

Even Indie is sad. She misses her boy and her Becca. She's been particularly clingy. And if this English professsor gig doesn't work out for me, I'm feeling like I might have a future in pet psychology. (It probably pays better!) Just kidding. Ummm...not really...about the pays better part.

I did, however, rouse myself into making a healthy dinner last night.
 
Cauliflower and Sonic Diet Coke do make for a pleasant summer evening. I made Heidi Swanson's Weeknight Curry.

Today, for lunch, I made her Whole Grain Rice Salad, except mine was more salad than rice (brown rice, folks) since I'm watching the old calories. Still...really good.

For dinner? Some Mahi mahi...broiled.

I am often slightly annoyed by dieters and their propensity to list off everything ther're eating...which is precisely what I just did. But I'm also annoyed by my hungry stomach. Sometimes it's okay, and sometimes it needs to get a life.

Did I mention I had a green smoothie for breakfast? Kale and Mango?

I didn't? Well, there you have it.

Annoyance complete. Peace out.

quiet despair

I'm going to tell you something you probably already know.

I'm not naturally skinny.

Meaning, I'm not skinny...and when I am, it's not natural. And by natural, I'm, of course, referring to my deep affection for sugar and my body's inability to process said sugar without applying it directly to my thighs.

I know a few people who are naturally skinny (I'm talking adults here people). They eat WHATEVER they please and are thin as rails. To those people I say, "I don't hate you. But I kind of do." But I'm not one of those people (sadly). I've come to terms with this immense disappointment.

Every so often, I get a hold of myself and decide to stop with the eating everything in sight. I don't want to, but sometimes such action becomes necessary because I catch a vision of myself while passing a mirror and I gasp in horror.

Then I'm really good for a while and I drop five or ten pounds. Then I deem myself acceptable again and gradually go back to eating everything in sight. Some of you might think this process ridiculous. Me? It's just my own personal set of checks and balances. Also, I'm just glad I haven't totally given up...because that thought has crossed my mind more than once. But no. Not giving up.

Of course, with renewed vigilance regarding my diet, I recommit myself to the running. I like to run. I hate the way it makes me feel while I'm actually running, but I like ALL of the other parts. Also, the running helps with the eating everything is sight part of my life.

But...getting to my point...I always forget about how going off of sugar leaves me with the feeling of quiet desperation. I'm not talking about a psychological depression because I can't have doughnuts (like who wouldn't be mildly despressed about that?). I'm talking about my body's actual physiological response to low sugar and fewer calories. I can feel it in my blood...in almost every cell of my body. It's like a quiet hum. I don't feel quite right. I feel tired and disappointed and downright glum. It's not an all-encompassing, cry-your-eyes-out depression. It's what I call quiet despair.

The car needs to go in the shop?

Quiet despair.

The DVR didn't record my show?

Quiet despair.

I won the lottery.

Quiet despair.

I do know that it takes my body approximately 7-10 days to move out of despair mode. I just have this one question...

If sugar is so bad, why does it make me so happy?

P.S. I know all about sugar. Just go with me on this.

 

 

San 'Tone

Last weekend we had to pick the girls up from Trinity University (which is in San Antonio) at 7 AM on Saturday morning. 7 AM folks. Seeing as how San Antonio is a good 3.5 hours from our lovely Houston abode, we made plans to spend Friday night a bit closer to our goal. Debbie's brother Matt and his wife Maria live just outside of San Antonio in Helotes and offered up some mighty fine accomodations. We accepted. Without hesitation.

Friday night we took the young 'uns to Floore Country Store in Helotes, the place allegedly where Willie Nelson got his start. I, for one, LOVE Willie Nelson. I love the crackly tenor of his voice. I love his tragic songs. Part of my love might be attributed to the fact that I grew up listening to Willie, but at least part of my love lives within my very own Texas-loyal soul. I do believe I have tortured more than one friend by FORCING them to listen to Willie in my car. I like to educate my friends like that.

Anyway, Floore's still features live music and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. Willie is scheduled to make an appearance in the Fall and I'm going to do my best to make my way back to him. [Picture me running through a field of Daisy's to Willie (a very old dude).]

I get a little choked up when I see the Texas flag. I'm telling you...Texas may be hot...but it engenders an almost unexplainable loyalty...especially among the natives. Texas! Our Texas!

 

And best of all? I got THIS at an antique store in town.

It's a metal cake keeper! While in my imagination this cake keeper lives in the Beav's home in the 50s, it actually has a trademark date on it of 1981. I'm a child of the 80s and I don't remember ever seeing cake keepers like this. Any cake keeper historians out there?

 

rocky mountain high

 
I just got back last night from a trip to Colorado Springs. My sister, being the career woman that she is, won a fabulous trip based on her excellent job performance...and I got to accompany her. Yippee!

We stayed at the Broadmoor resort in Colorado Springs, which seemed much like the resort in Dirty Dancing (except bigger and fancier). I kept walking into buildings exclaiming, "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!" No one seemed to get it. But I'm used to that...so I kept on keeping on.

Day one we rode horses way up high in the mountains. Both Jennifer and I were absolutely certain we were experiencing altitude sickness, so when the bus (to the horse stalls) started on a perilous ascent up the mountain I was sorta worried I might pass out or do something embarassing. But no. My body held it together at 8000 ft. Thank you body. My horse's name was Moose. Moose was a fabulous horse, excepting her propensity to whack my legs against tree trunks resulting in a bruise the size of a baseball. Thanks Moose. Jennifer rode behind me and apologized to her horse the entire way...especially when we were riding uphill. I didn't apologize so much because I felt Moose was getting her ounce of flesh out through my shins.

 
The resort was incredibly beautiful. And temperate. Breezy even. I called Sterling and told him I would be unable to return to the heat and humidity, so he should pack up the kids and the house and meet me in Colorado. He did not comply. He's always had a bit of a disobedient streak. He is, however, willing to pay for good air conditioning. So I agreed to return home. Crisis averted.

 
As I'm sure you've noticed, I didn't take my big camera with me. We were carrying on our luggage...which meant it was the camera or my purse. I opted for the purse and made do with my iphone and instagram. Instagram rocks, is addictive even (my name is sbjones). If you are on...leave a comment with your username so I can follow you.

Each night there was an employee dinner. Surprisingly, the dinners were fun and Jenny's workmates were delightful and entertaining, especially Lilac who is Jewish and who really likes Mormons. It was a religious love fest. Shout OUT to Lilac!

We also hit the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo on the recommendation of my Colorado friend, Julie. Mostly, I just wanted to feed the giraffes...which I did...much to my delight. AND we got pedicures at the hotel spa. I'm going to be completely honest and tell you that the pedicure cost three times as much as my place back home. And it wasn't three times better. In fact, I'm not sure it was even AS good. But I looked out at swans gliding across the lake and enjoyed every second of it nonetheless. Also...got some complimentary nail polish. Not sure those folks know what "complimentary" means when they are charging an arm and a leg...but I sure do like the color.

I'm now safe and snug at home with only my big girls. Parker and Becca are at Camp Nana in Salt Lake City. I should take a stab at the laundry but have only recently been reunited with my Mac and the Interweb...so I'm a little busy at the moment. Looks to be an extremely non-productive day. Dont' tell.

a summer project

I've mostly tried avoiding "projects" this summer because my project REALLY, REALLY needs to be my dissertation. For the most part this has nearly killed me, but for the most part I have been successful -- both in avoiding projects AND working on my dissertation. Yay me!

My one concession was Posie Gets Cozy's alphabet sampler. You see, I've faithfully followed Posie Gets Cozy for years now. From time to time she puts together a project and sells it as a kit. Any number of times, I've sat at my keyboard, with fingers itching -- ready to order. But alas, I've always been embroiled in some major undertaking at the time. This summer, somehow, the sampler seemed doable. And I, like I suspect so many other readers, wanted just a taste of the magical Posie Gets Cozy life in my very own house. I ordered back in April (I think) when Alicia Paulsen (the woman behind Posie) was still putting all of the pieces together. She and her husband even screen printed the fabric themselves. As for me, I'm just trying to do a letter a day. And I have to say...it's pretty darned fun. Also groovy. Did you check out the colors?

But don't worry (actually, Sterling is the only one worrying) I'm still working each day on my dissertation. Well, almost each day. This week it's just been me and my boy, and he has been generous enough to allow me a few hours at my desk. Yep, the girls are all at EFY...the premier activity for Mormon youth...or at least my girls think it the PREMIER activity. There are dorms and dances and boys and a whole week on their own (except for all of those BYU counselors watching their every move). I instructed them to text me each night before they went to bed. You know, just a quick text letting me know they are okay.

Here's the results thus far:

Jordan: Texted Monday, called on Tuesday, nothing since
Madison: Texted Monday, nothing since
Rebecca: Texted Monday, texted Wednesday only to ask for money, nothing since

So...I'm assuming all is well. On the upside, without those older girls out and about every night...Sterling and I are getting a decent amount of sleep. I do enjoy being well-rested.

Gotta get back to work...