wherein i hurt myself really badly (warning: one gory image)

This is another of those --wherein I damage/humiliate/mutilate myself on accident-- posts. Now that I'm writing them down I realize that perhaps such misfortunes are happening to me at a faster rate than normal humans. Or maybe most normal humans choose not to share such experiences with the Interwebs. I don't know. I wish I did.

Anyway. Here's how it went down. It was grisly.

The first day of school (Monday) I hopped on my bike at 3:05 to meet Parker. Normally, I meet him along the trail. This allows me to know that he is safely on his way home without necessitating that I ride ALL the way to the school in 105 degree heat. He's used to this routine. We did it all last year.

However. It being the first day of school and all, and me wanting the first day to be the special-ist day ever, I rode ALL THE WAY TO THE SCHOOL and waited with the other moms. I know. Sometimes I really go the extra mile. I stood there (in the 105 degree heat) talking to the other moms while, unbeknownst to me, Parker had hightailed it out of class and took off....because, of course, he wasn't looking for me (and I was too busy chatting to see him). Ugh.

I realize after only a few minutes what happened. I don't want him to worry when he doesn't see me on the trail so I start hightailing it home. I was riding fast. I knew I could catch up to him.

At one point, when I was about halfway home and hadn't caught even the slightest glimpse of my boy, I happened upon a very small child riding a very small bike. He was going so slow. I thought I would die. So I simply (and politely) steered my bike off of the path and onto the grass so as to go around the very small child. Remember that I am riding pretty fast. Once I'd cleared the very small child I opt to get back on the paved path.

Except the path is now a sidewalk. With a very thick edge.

I do think for a second that perhaps my bike won't make the jump.

But, of course it will. I've got a lot of speed built up. I'm a big girl.

So I hit that edge...and there my memory stops...only to be taken up again as my left knee slammed into the pavement and my face plowed through the grass.

I laid there for a moment assessing the situation (and my body). I was really hoping that I could telekinetically transport myself away from the whole bicycle mess so I wouldn't have to face the barrage of bicyclers coming up behind me. But no. That would have been all too easy.

I'm not sure anyone except the very small child really saw the whole incident...meaning lots of people saw me sprawled in what must have been an unattractive position. But no one saw the absolute force with which I hit the ground. He (the very small child) started talking immediately.

"That's not how you're supposed to ride your bike."

"You fell down REALLY hard."

"Watch me ride my bike. I won't fall."

Soon enough, very small child's dad came upon my fallen and twisted body. At the first question from the dad regarding my well-being I hopped right up and started assuring him (and myself) that I was totally fine.

"I'm fine. Good. No problem. Nothing injured but my pride. Really. I'm good. Go ahead."

Every word that came out of my mouth was powered only by sheer will and pride. My knee was on fire and my head was ringing. And still, I kept talking. Kept assuring everyone that it was nothing.

Fire. I'm telling you.

Not too much longer Maddie comes riding up. Parker had made it home and I hadn't...so questions were circling the homestead. My bike wasn't rideable so Maddie walked home with me. It was a long, long walk.

And then, when I got home, there was nothing to do but clean myself up and move on with the afternoon. I texted Sterling. I wanted him to come home, fix my leg, tuck me into bed, and bring me cold Diet Cokes and warm chocolate chip cookies.

But that didn't happen because Sterling was working, and I'm a grown woman with plenty of antibiotic ointment on hand.

I have to say that this pic actually makes it look better than it is. Now, two days later, it is still swollen and has a bruise with about a 6" diameter. I was going to post this last night....but I was in such pain...that I couldn't. At least I couldn't without writing a whole string of swear words that would shock and horrify my children. It's better this morning. I think.

At that, my friends, is how I spent the afternoon of the first day of school 2011.

Next year...no biking.

Comments

[Sharyn]

That is NOT how you're supposed to ride a bike! Kids.
Wish I were closer to bring you chocolate chip cookies!!!

[Aunt Mary]

I sure know how that pride thing can get you. Once I went running out of my classroom, on the Navajo Rez, and didn't stop when I realized that the landing, porch, top of the stairs, outside my classroom were wet, soaked through wet, and slippery. I remember my feet going up in the air and feeling my body bump down the outdoor steps, then fly and hit the bottom with an air expelling thud. While in air I heard a slow motion scream, mmmaaaarrrrryyyy, before I hit bottom. Then it was silent except for the ringing in my ears. My body wouldn't move. I just looked up at the sky. Then my screaming friend came into view over me. Lying on the ground I started assuring her I was fine. Amid lightning bolts up and down my right leg and spine I drug myself back up my stairs assuring everyone I was fine. BlaBlaBla. 10 year long story. It is smarter to just lie there and scream and cry and if I had it to do over I'd still be on the ground outside my classroom in Navajo crying. But in real life, we cowboy up, swallow our pain, press our pride forward, and move ahead. So sorry you are hurt. You have my sincerest concern and if I were near I would bring on the ice cold dietCoke and BYU brownies.

[rebecca ellis]

So sorry to hear about your first day of school. I love your independent boy, but perhaps more your caring and concerned daughter.

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