Yesterday I had all kinds of Valentine-y ideas swirling in my head. There was the paper-heart making, and the breakfasting, and the "special" dinner, and cookie making with the kids, and Valentine BINGO, and ... of course... a gift for Sterling. And by about 6:30 last night I was completely tuckered out. (Pictured above: Ingrid Michaelson tickets for me and the girls. Yippee!!)
In the past six months or so I've become really adept at saying 'no' to extraneous distractions -- all towards making some real progress on my dissertation. A surprising side benefit has been a degree of unfamiliar peace in my personal life. Because I've limited the number of projects I take on, lunches I attend, and all-around playing at any number of (worthwhile) pursuits, I've been more focused on the important things. Like my family. And being organized. And searching for the next great iphone app.
Yesterday I reverted to my old ways. I was literally running from 5:00 AM until 10:00 PM trying to finish everything I started. Sure, some of it was fun -- like playing Valentine BINGO with my kids (for real prizes). I'm sure they enjoyed the meal and the cookies and the shiny decorations. But for me? It's taken me about 18 years to realize it is too much. Today I'm exhausted and annoyed and feeling disconnected from my work-work, which makes me antsy and especially prone to eat sugar. Also, my kitchen is only partially reclaimed from the four pounds of bacon that were cooked and consumed therein. Nope, not exaggerating even a little.
As I was doing some reading today, I came upon an article that spoke about the domestic as a place to provide stability and form identity...a place of grounding and a location to generate meaning (as in the meaning of life)...all of which I agree with. I want my kids to feel warmth and love and even excitement over holidays and birthdays and Thursdays. And THIS is why I have a hard time finding some balance. Cuz sometimes they really like over-the-top. And sometimes over-the-top is just how I roll. (Rollin' right on to the looney bin.)
But not today. Today it's rainy. And dark. I declined Parker's proposal to have friends over. I've kept the lights low, and dinner is baked potatoes (no bacon will be served). A little down time can be a good thing...and the next time I start linking to a zillion different ideas, I'd appreciate if someone would shoot me an e-mail and tell me to GET A GRIP. Thank you very much.
Sounds like the Joneses had a happy Valentine's Day. Must be nice to have super mom as your mother. I'm okay with the craziness.....one more year with Jordan.....two more years with Madison.... within six or seven years you will never have to do it again. And you will miss the craziness like crazy.
Posted by: rebecca ellis | February 16, 2012 at 08:51 PM